The birth process for Dads

birth process for dads
Pregnancy and birth tips from Sydney doula, Danae Cappelletto.

A Birth Doula can help a father support his partner with confidence and encourage the love and bonding between the couple.

Congratulations! Many fathers look forward to experiencing the birth of their baby. They want to be actively involved, ease their partner’s labour pain, and welcome their babies at the moment of birth.  A Birth Doula can help a father experience this special time with confidence!

A Doula provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the expectant mother and her partner during labour, birth and in the immediate postpartum period.

Researched based evidence shows that when Doulas are present at birth, women have shorter labours, fewer medical interventions, fewer caesareans and healthier babies. Recent studies also suggests that when a doula provides labour support, women are more satisfied with their experience and the mother-infant interaction is enhanced as long as two months after the birth. With Doula support, dad’s tend to stay more relaxed and involved with their partner rather than pull away in times of stress. My role as a doula is to nurture the relationship between the birthing couple not to interfere.

Your “Labour Coach”.

Today, a father’s participation in birth preparation classes or his presence at prenatal visits and in the Maternity Ward is a familiar occurrence. Yet, we sometimes forget that the expectations of his role as a “labour coach” may be difficult to fulfil.

The partner is expected among other things to become familiar with the process and language of birth, to understand medical procedures and hospital protocols and advocate for his partner in an environment that he is usually unfamiliar with, on one of the most emotional and exhausting days of his life. A Doula can help support the beginning of labour in your home, provide the information to help parents make appropriate decisions and facilitate communication between the labouring woman, her partner and medical care providers.

At times a father may not understand a woman’s instinctive behaviour during birth and may react anxiously to what a Doula knows to be the normal process of birth. He may witness his partner in pain and become distressed. The Doula can be reassuring and skilfully help the mother to work with her labour pain in her unique way… Not all fathers can realistically be expected to “coach” his partner at this intense level.

Many fathers are eager to be involved during labour and birth. Others, no less loving or committed to their partner’s wellbeing find it difficult to navigate in uncharted waters. This is not about love, but all about knowledge and experience!

With a Doula, a father can share in the birth at the level he feels most comfortable with. The Doula’s skill set, experience and knowledge can help him to feel more relaxed. If the father wants to provide physical comfort such as back massage, change of positions, and help his partner to stay focused during surges, the Doula can provide that guidance and make suggestions on what may work best.

The benefits of having a birth doula on your team.

Physicians, midwives and nurses are responsible for monitoring labour, assessing the medical condition of the mother and baby, and treating complications if they arise. But birth is also an emotional and spiritual experience which has a long-term impact on a woman’s, partner’s and baby’s personal wellbeing.

A Doula is constantly aware that the mother and her partner will remember this experience throughout their lives. By “mothering the mother” during birth the Doula supports the parents in having a positive and memorable birth experience.

The benefits of Doula care have been recognised worldwide. The Medical Leadership Council of Washington, D.C, the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada and the World Health Organisation are among the many healthcare organisations worldwide that value the benefits that Doulas provide to women in labour.

Offering the best kind of birth support.

The father’s presence and loving support in birth is comforting and reassuring. The love he shares with his baby, his need to nurture and protect his family are priceless gifts that only he can provide. With her partner and a Doula at her birth, a mother can have the best of both worlds. Her partner’s love, care and attention and the Doula’s expertise and guidance in childbirth.


As a first time dad, coming home to hearing my wife “I’d like to have a Doula as part of our birth” I have to admit I was a little bit sceptical. First up, I had to google what a Doula was, next came the wondering of what I would do if the Doula was there with us at the birth, and finally, balancing the budget with only one income and a whole heap of new spendings, I did wonder if the added cost of a Doula was really necessary.

Enter Danae.

After my wife arranged a meet & greet, Danae came to our home, and the three of us got to know each other, talked through our birth expectations, what Danae did and how she could assist. All my questions were answered and we both (my wife and I) felt an instant connection and wanted Danae there as part of the journey.

From the mans perspective, I saw a shift in my wife’s confidence, her knowledge grew, she focused on breathing, yoga, meditation, stretching and got both physically and mentally strong. It was really inspiring and I have to say that Danae played a part in that. Like having a coach behind you the whole time.

When Covid came and started locking things down and creating restrictions, our birth plans changed slightly, my partner was feeling unsupported by our OB and Danae helped her change care providers.  The whole way through Danae was there to provide a sounding board of experience and advice. Always making sure my wife was emotionally supported during big decisions , that can only come with a great depth of experience.

In the end, we had the most amazing birth experience and have a wonderful little baby girl. I wasn’t replaced, my wife was empowered, and we both had the birth that we wanted and planned.

The whole time it felt like we had a safety net beneath us, by having Danae there to answer questions and provide guidance when we needed it.

I highly recommend Danae to be part of anyone’s birth experience. I had no idea at the start and am so glad we did it. It was the best decision we made!  I don’t even write google reviews, so that tells you something.

Thank you Danae



Danae is a Sydney birth doula and pregnancy support specialist. She works with families to provide guidance, information, emotional and physical support during pregnancy and birth.

Danae is Sydney’s first (and only) Optimal Maternal Positioning (OMP) Birth Educator & pregnancy (prenatal) yoga teacher.

If you have any questions about birth and pregancy support and her doula services, don’t hesitate to contact Danae directly.